Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Welcome to your wish fulfilled. This is your beautiful place to feel so much better in your life and to attract and manifest the life that you love.
[00:00:17] Today, we're diving into something extremely important that hardly anyone ever talks about.
[00:00:25] And that is, what is your definition of success?
[00:00:32] How do you define success? How will you know when you are successful?
[00:00:42] Most people have adopted the idea of success from the world around them. So if you ask most people what is success or who is successful, they'll point at or think about people who have a lot of money. They have a big house, they have what looks like a nice relationship. They have a bunch of stuff. They're doing things that they like. Apps like Instagram are classic for promoting this sort of idea of success. You see people sitting by the pool with their martinis, right? Traveling around and they're making people jealous, oh, I'm no good. She's more attractive than me. He's better than me. He's got a better life, she's got a better life, They've got more money. What's wrong with me?
[00:01:32] This is causing so much sorrow in so many people. Because when we judge ourself and we measure our own success compared to social media or other people, we are having a negative comparison.
[00:01:53] And that makes us feel.
[00:01:56] Lack. Makes us feel something's wrong with us.
[00:02:00] So depending on what your measure of success is, so will be your level of joy.
[00:02:13] And also, if the things that we are wanting, the things that we measure against, the things that we, once we get them, we feel successful. If those things are not things that are going to make us happy, then no matter what happens, we're still not going to be happy. So, for example, if my measure of success is I have, you know, $100 million and I have four houses in different places, and I do this, this and this and blah, blah, blah, what that means is that up until the point where all of that has happened, I am not going to let myself be happy.
[00:02:54] Because my measure of success, my measure of achievement is only after those things have become real, can I enjoy my life, can I enjoy and be grateful.
[00:03:10] And the higher the standard is that we give ourselves, the more it's externally based, the harder it is to achieve. And here's the kicker.
[00:03:20] Many, many people, after huge amounts of effort and work, finally get what they want. And guess what happens?
[00:03:32] After years and years and years, they finally get their cars and their yachts and their house, their second house, third house, and they are depressed. It's an anticlimax. They're like, is this It Is this all there is? Think about how many people have become super famous, super famous, whether it's pop stars or YouTube people or whatever. And then they have a major meltdown. Drug addiction, depression. Some people drop off buildings, extremely common.
[00:04:12] So what this means is that if our measure of success is external things, for a start, we will feel bad until we get them, which is potentially our whole life depending on what we want. So we're not enjoying our life the whole time.
[00:04:32] And there's absolutely no guarantee at all that any of those things are going to make any difference to us.
[00:04:42] So is it any wonder so many people are depressed and disappointed with themselves?
[00:04:53] So we all have a yardstick of success, right? It's like a measuring pole. And we say, okay, how does my life measure up to this standard?
[00:05:05] We do this internally, we do this unconsciously. We're not doing this on purpose. Most people haven't thought about these things. We just absorb ideas from the media, from other people, from society.
[00:05:19] We have this measuring stick in our head somewhere and we're going around measuring ourselves against that standard.
[00:05:30] So what is your measuring stick of success?
[00:05:36] Just tune into it. Be honest. It. Most of the time this hasn't come from ourselves, it's come from outside. We see something on the Internet or we see some other people in our life and we think they're doing so much better than me. Wouldn't it be great if this, this and this, Right?
[00:05:52] There's no point lying to ourselves about this. The first step to creating a new level of happiness and a new measuring stick of success is to know what our current one is.
[00:06:03] Unfiltered, raw and real.
[00:06:08] So just think about this. What do you consider success?
[00:06:14] Is it a certain amount of money? Is it a certain amount of freedom? Is it a certain appearance, certain weight?
[00:06:24] What is it?
[00:06:34] What do you want?
[00:06:54] Now, there's nothing wrong with having interest in achieving things in the world. That's totally fine.
[00:07:03] The issue is when we measure ourselves negatively against other people and our own success metrics and we continuously feel lack in our life, this is a huge problem because it means every day we are not allowing ourselves to be happy.
[00:07:24] So the point of this session today is to first of all recognize what's going on, and secondly, to make a internal shift to change that measuring stick, to change how we think about success so that we can feel good really, really, really quickly and really enjoy our life. And from that place of fulfillment and happiness now we can also attract wonderful things into our life.
[00:08:03] So your measuring stick of success is basically saying in the future, once I get this, this and this, then I'll be happy. But currently I haven't got these things.
[00:08:20] So I'm not happy because there is a gap between where I am now and where I want to be.
[00:08:32] So that gap, the bigger the gap is, the more pain there is.
[00:08:41] There's a great book, the Gap and the Gain, which I've mentioned in another audio, highly recommend you read the book Gap and the Gain. Dan Sullivan and Ben Harvey.
[00:08:55] So the gap is between where you are now and where you want to be. And that is bit like looking at where you are now, looking at the horizon and going, oh my God, this is so far away. It's a mountain in the distance. How can I possibly get there? And I'm not happy until then.
[00:09:13] The gain, on the other hand, is where you look, how far you've come from where you were now. There's a lot of ways of measuring how far you've come. I personally think the best way to measure how far we've come and how much we have is going back to what I call 0.0 point.
[00:09:41] Because when you imagine having nothing, having zero, can you just imagine for a moment? Imagine you lose everything. Your body, your relationships, any stuff you have, any opportunities you have, your money, car, house, etc.
[00:10:02] Everything you've ever done, imagine everything is gone. Because when we die, we do lose all these physical things.
[00:10:12] Imagine everything is gone.
[00:10:17] For some people, that's hard to do. But if you open your heart and mind, you can imagine.
[00:10:24] Imagine being a thousand years in the past before any of this stuff had happened at all. There's absolutely nothing there in your life that you have now.
[00:10:35] No people, no situations.
[00:10:40] Imagine millions of years ago, absolutely nothing there.
[00:10:49] And you're just consciousness, just presence.
[00:11:02] And then imagine coming back here and realizing how much you have, how wealthy you are.
[00:11:15] You've got a body, you've got opportunities, you got hot water, which is such a blessing. So many people didn't have that for a long time.
[00:11:25] You've got different things in your life. You've got music, people, animals, nature.
[00:11:36] You move forward in your life, you learn things. I mean, it just goes on and on and on. You think, oh my goodness, look how wealthy we are. This is great. So you go from zero up to success now, right? From zero, you're extremely successful. Don't think about anything else. Just focus on how far you are now, how far you've come.
[00:12:09] If you've ever been camping, you'll know a little bit what I'm talking about. Right. I sometimes go camping up in the desert in Utah, Colorado, Arizona.
[00:12:24] Just beautiful. It's extremely beautiful, but also minimal, right? You don't have all the facilities.
[00:12:32] So many, many times I've had my desert tea, right? Wake up, make some tea.
[00:12:40] I'm sitting there looking over the beautiful views, the mountains, and I just feel so blessed to have a cup of tea. I'm like, oh, my God, this is the best. The best, right? Normally I just have tea and I don't think about it because there's nothing hardly. And oh, here's some noodles. Hooray, these noodles are so great. Normally I wouldn't think that way. So when you remove everything and then you get it back, you feel profound joy and a sense of wonder and magic.
[00:13:15] From lack, you come into wealth. From the gap, you go into the game.
[00:13:26] Now, this is extremely profound. This might sound simple, but everyone in the world, with rare exceptions, is measuring themselves based on lack, based on what they don't have.
[00:13:45] I was talking to my friend about this yesterday and I was explaining this because we're entrepreneurs and we have businesses and all these things, and I was saying, look how far we've come. But are we happy and are we still wanting stuff we haven't got?
[00:14:01] You know, we're extremely successful relative to where we were, but if we compare ourselves to other people, then we can feel we're missing something. And what he said, he agreed with me and he said, but would I do anything if I didn't have the lack motivation, Right? Like, he was giving an example, his business was going up, up, up, up, up. And then it sort of dropped off a little bit in his cash flow and then it freaked him out. And then he started taking action to turn things around again.
[00:14:39] So we normally live in a state of lack, and we're only motivated to do things if we are pushed into it from lack.
[00:14:51] So if everything's fine, we go, oh, whatever, whatever. But then if it falls off and things start going wrong, we go, I have to do something about it. Now, of course, if we have a problem, we can't just ignore it and say, oh, I'm so blessed, I'm so blessed. Who cares about this problem? We do need to look at it. There's a certain pain in the body, a certain issue. We want to make sure we take care of that.
[00:15:17] But fundamentally, we can choose to live in a state of wealth and we can be motivated to do things even if we are feeling great.
[00:15:33] Don't you think it's more enjoyable? What's going to Be better, just tune into it.
[00:15:40] One option is to feel lack and be running around after getting things. So there's a continuous state of lack going on. And then when you get what you want, you may or may not be happy about it and it might not last. Or the other option is you realize how blessed you are.
[00:15:58] And from a place of abundance and wealth, a feeling of success.
[00:16:09] You can, as a game, do more things to create things in the world and to keep turning things around and making them different, making them better. But it's for fun because you already are starting from a place of wealth.
[00:16:33] Does that make sense?
[00:16:35] So it's a matter of motivation. Am I being motivated by lack and that energy goes into the work that I'm doing?
[00:16:47] Or how about I was motivated by freedom and success?
[00:16:58] Why not? Why not?
[00:17:03] This is a profound change in consciousness because hardly anyone is doing this. Almost everyone is in lack consciousness, including the wealthiest people.
[00:17:20] There's a story from the book the Gap and the Gain where there was this guy who felt he would finally be able to relax once he had $1 million in savings right in his investment portfolio and he hit his million dollar mark and he noticed that it didn't make him feel any more secure. He felt, you know what, it's just not doing it for me. Two million, two million is what I need, then I'll feel relaxed. So then he worked, worked, worked, and now he has 2 million. And he noticed it still didn't feel quite right to him. So then he said, you know what? 5 million, 5 million is the way to go because then I'll really be able to relax and everything will be fine. So he made 5 million.
[00:18:05] And after all the effort, he realized it didn't make any difference to his feelings whatsoever.
[00:18:12] And then he wanted 10 and then he wanted 20, right? Do you see what I mean?
[00:18:18] Many people, you might think, well, if I had $10 million, $5 million, I would be set right, and maybe you would. But in his case, it was never enough. And many, many people, they get what they want and immediately they think, you know what? Didn't make any difference, what's next?
[00:18:36] So this is a fallacy of life, the idea that we measure ourselves against external standards of success. We then achieve those standards after a lot of work and a lot of feeling lack. And then we still feel lack and we want something else. And the measuring stick keeps getting taller and taller and we are not enjoying our lives in the meantime.
[00:18:59] So what's the solution to this?
[00:19:03] The solution is to, on one hand, come back to zero points again and again and again, because that resets our comparison.
[00:19:17] Human beings, we are typically comparing ourselves to our peers rather than comparing ourselves to zero, right? So let's imagine someone has a job and their friend has a job and their friend gets a promotion, and they don't get a promotion, they will probably feel quite negative. Many, many people say, how come this person got a promotion and I didn't? How come so and so is more successful than me? Because they're comparing themselves to their peers, which is a natural human tendency, right?
[00:20:02] Rather than comparing themselves to zero.
[00:20:07] So if they compare themselves to having nothing, not having a job, not having anything, they realize that they're doing great.
[00:20:15] If they compare themselves to their peers, they feel awful, or social media or whatever it is.
[00:20:21] So the first thing is to reset our comparison back to zero. This is immediate way of feeling better. And as you come into the wealth consciousness, you are much more likely to become wealthy. Because when you feel wealthy, your chance of achieving more wealth and attracting wealth goes up.
[00:20:47] It's not true that if you feel content, you're not going to do anything. Some people maybe won't do anything, but that doesn't mean that you're not going to do anything. Some people have a lot of lack and they still don't do anything, right? So whether or not you do things to move forward in your life is a different topic. I personally feel we're much more likely to take risks and to move forward in our life if we already feel good than if we feel fear and lack. So ironically, the better you feel, the more success you feel internally, the more likely you're going to achieve way more success in your life physically because it starts from an internal shift.
[00:21:33] So the first step is to compare yourself to zero rather than to other people, and also compare yourself to your past and how far you've come.
[00:21:49] And the other shift is to recalibrate your success criteria, your measure of success, based entirely on internal metrics. What does that mean? It means that you compare success. You define success based on things that are in your control, not out of your control. So, for example, I can't control the weather. I can't control how much money people give me, right? I can influence other people. I can wear a coat and make the weather feel better to me, But I can't force people or weather or lots of things to change.
[00:22:43] So if I'm measuring my success based on things that are out of my control, then the chance of me being disappointed are quite high because I can't guarantee Anything's going to happen.
[00:23:02] So if you measure your success based on internal things you can control, then you have a lot more power in your life. So what are the things you can control?
[00:23:16] For example, you can say success means I am smiling. You can, you can smile now if you want, right? Nice big cheesy smile. Show your teeth.
[00:23:28] Ah. Take a nice deep breath. Smiling.
[00:23:34] If you smile and you consider smiling success, then you can be very successful whenever you want because you can choose to smile.
[00:23:44] If you define success as thinking good thoughts in your mind, you have control over your mind. You can think, I am a great soul, I'm a powerful being, I love my life, I'm grateful for life. If thinking good thoughts and you can decide what those thoughts are is success, then you can feel very successful right away.
[00:24:10] And those good thoughts will create wealth in your life.
[00:24:18] If you define success as choosing to be loving to others, giving love, giving good wishes to other people, you can do that every day, right?
[00:24:33] You might not be able to guarantee their response because that's outside of your control, but you can be loving. You can say, success means that I'm working on the things that I want to work on at least a little bit every day. And so every time you work on a project that's meaningful or you do something you want to do, you're successful. You're not saying, I'm only successful when I get this outcome.
[00:24:59] If you want to write a book, the fact that you are sitting down to write even one page or even one word hits success and the success builds on itself.
[00:25:09] We're responsible for our inputs, we can't control the outputs.
[00:25:15] You can do your best to write a best selling book from your heart, but you can't guarantee it's going to become a bestseller. You can promote it, you can do everything right. You can do it from a good attitude, with a good feeling.
[00:25:32] So what we're talking about basically is coming into a feeling of wealth and fullness, taking back our power and enjoying our life.
[00:25:45] So I invite you to rewrite your definition of success, your measure of success, so that it is completely based on internal things that you personally have control over. So you can be loving to people, you can choose to eat healthy food, you can choose to think good thoughts, you can choose to smile, right? You can choose to do all sorts of things. You have a lot of control over your life in many different ways. When those things are your measure of success, then your happiness level goes up and also your contentment goes up, your sense of satisfaction goes up. And the amount that you create and manifest and do is going to also go up. It's going to lead to external success. But external success, the outcomes, the money, the success in life and people and praise and all that, that's icing on the cake. You already feel internally satisfied now and along the journey because you're enjoying the process, you're taking control of your just tune into it. What is better to feel lack pretty much your whole life, then get what you want and maybe you'll be happy or to feel you're blessed, you're wealthy, you're rich now and again and again and again, thousands of times a day, feeling wonderful as you go through your life towards doing things, enjoying things.
[00:27:40] And then whether or not you get what you want or not, you'll still be happy. And then if you do get what you want, which is actually much more likely, if you're living from that place of abundance, you will actually enjoy it because you have the practice and the habit of enjoying your life now.
[00:27:58] If you enjoy the things in your life today and you love your life now and you take advantage of everything now, you will continue to take advantage of it when you get more and more cool things.
[00:28:10] But if you feel lack now and you feel something's missing now, then even when you get cool things and wonderful upgrades, you'll probably still feel something's missing.
[00:28:25] So if you want to make this shift, highly recommend you re listen to this session, this audio because we are constantly being programmed by society to feel lack all the time and we need to reprogram our mind by listening to things like this again and again and again to really grind it in and then recalibrate your success re measure your success based entirely on internal metrics that are under your control.
[00:29:01] So for example, I want to help more people in various things that I'm doing. I can't force anyone to change. I can't guarantee any results. But I am in charge of for example, sitting here recording this session, right? It's 9:51am and I wanted to record something in the morning. Here I am. So this is in my control. I can sit down and I can record.
[00:29:26] I can't guarantee you're going to benefit from this. I can't guarantee how many people will listen to this. That's out of my hands. But I can, from my heart of hearts do my very best to share and be of service.
[00:29:39] And I know that the more I help people, the more that's going to come back. But my measure of success is did I sit down and record rather than how many people listen to it, because I can't control that. So as your measure of success becomes based on internal metrics, internal things that are under your control, you feel much more excited about life, you appreciate your success, and you can manifest a lot more wonderful things with more fun.
[00:30:15] And if you ever feel a sense of lack or something's missing, go back to zero point.
[00:30:22] Go back to having nothing at all, losing everything you have, and then imagine getting it back and going, wow, there's a plant here. Oh, my God. There's this picture, there's this book, there's this sky, there's the tree, there's a crystal. I'm just talking about things I can see.
[00:30:44] Wow, look at all this cool stuff.
[00:30:49] So measure how far you've come from zero, and you will feel so much wealthier and people will wonder how come you're so happy. We haven't. Nothing happened. I just changed my attitude. I'm stopping comparing myself with anyone else. I'm not comparing myself to outcomes. I am taking charge of my joy, taking control of my life, measuring myself in the correct way.
[00:31:21] Every day is a blessing. Every day is an opportunity. The past is good, the present is better, and the future is the best. It's best, good, better.
[00:31:30] Everything is good from that point of view. Success, success, success. Then you become an embodiment of success now.
[00:31:42] Thank you so much for being here, sending you so much love.
[00:31:48] Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
